Mr. America

I was at work today, and thought of a new name for myself. It's Mr. America, because I am dedicated to the quality of this country on everything from sales to people to work ethic to ethics in general. My principles, mannerisms, and philosophies are quintessential examples for people. I spent earlier days of my youth (19-20) trying to become a model. It was in those times I realized I was a role model as well. In times like now, I practice a more sturdier set of rules and balances that stimulate a better common behavior amongst people I share a presence with, especially when working. I tend to act so professionally that there is no parallel. I find myself admired, studied, adored, stared at, envied, and ultimately encouraged to set firmer examples for Americans, as I sell them deep fried cheesecake for my boss. The praxis of quality behavior and practice is what this country longs for. A PERSON who is right, humble, hard working, and stupendous in the sight of man. That is I.

I am Mr. America. I am the all-working, most respectful, symbol of America's finest. A man, a loser? A person who understands the fabric of our society today from salesman ship to hard work, perserverance, and love. I'm a fine estute gentleman who always wears a smile in public, but when by myself, I explain to myself why I may not be smiling. As a brilliant young man, work, I understand is the key to "being hot", as some of us put it, or "good championship", as I put it. At both school, and work, I dedicate my all to good habits, maintaing happiness, and keeping sight of the American dream. Though I am often persecuted for things that are not good habits, small faults which may not be able to hide from the scrutable criticism that awaits them, I comply with every order of my superiors in order to perform the maximum efficiency of a given role. I feel as though I am treated unfairly, but I have faith that God will work out a way for me, which he has. He has granted me wisdom, courage, power, and strength, to move masses of people, and help them. I have superior advices. My friendship is undiminishing. he extent at which I succeed is in the very eye of he who stands before me, and my work ethic is infallible. I am a great team leader. I stand up for what's right and just with power and strength to dignify the meek. Even my superiors may sometimes find themselves jealous of my ability to labor and detail such things as purpose and value, but I remain content in the fact that I am who I am, Kenneth Burns, and I can be no better or worse than Kenneth Burns.

The American way enables us to do so many things with ourselves. It enables us to speak however we want. It enables us to dance, get high, and even speed down the road cursing, and pushing your friends around. However there are unstoppable consequences. They are called laws, laws that can't be broken, and laws that can't be defied, like gravity, conservation of mass, Gay Lussac's law, and the law of supply and demand. These are things that us, as Americans, cannot defy with out consequences... I understand this, and press it upon people I am around. To wrap things up, this is exactly why I should be on the show. I am a ray something more than hope for Americans in our society, but a ray of heroism. I am a hero, a shining example of how to be, who will stand, and shed wisdom on topics as taboo as sex, money, scientologic behaviorisms like trust, and how far it goes before it is counter-acted to a way of being socially dependent, and doing the right thing, a way to help others without hurting yourself.

Vote for me. I WILL help you.

-Kenneth Burns, Mr. America

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